10.30.2014

When Did Halloween Become the New Christmas?


Some years, Halloween falls on a weekend so all the little ghouls get to start trick-or-treating at noon. But this year, October 31st falls on a Friday and my kids are bummed that they have to go to school. Roo and the Duke actually asked if they can stay home that day.

I had to explain that, no, Halloween is NOT a national holiday like Christmas or Labor Day, so people don’t get off of school or work for it.

10.24.2014

My First Lockdown. Holy $H–!

So there I was at my son's parent-teacher conference this Wednesday, two minutes into hearing how superawesomeamazeball the Duke is doing. I was feeling good and gooey with pride since, clearly, I'm the tree the apple didn't fall far from. And that's when the announcement came over the loudspeaker–

"ATTENTION, PLEASE:  A LOCKDOWN OF THE SCHOOL HAS BEEN ORDERED. STUDENTS AND STAFF RETURN TO THE NEAREST CLASSROOM OR OFFICE. TEACHERS, LOCK YOUR DOORS AND KEEP STUDENTS INSIDE UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.”

10.15.2014

Worse Parents Than You


Right as this school year was getting underway, I came across a news story about a mother who showed up to school pick-up insanely drunk. And instead of feeling bad for her child or sympathethic towards the woman's troubles, my first thought was, "Wow, next to her, I sound like a pretty good mom."

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