9.20.2015

Eviction Notice to My Kids


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EVICTION NOTICE
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TO:                 My three children, ages 12, 9 and 9

FROM:           The Dept. of Housing




THE ABOVE NAMED TENANT(S) MUST VACATE THE PREMISES, 
EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.


PLEASE TAKE NOTICE THAT among the numerous grounds for eviction, you are in violation of the following:


a. Failure to Pay Rent
Tenant(s) have not contributed a dime towards this household, save for that time someone’s wallet spilled out on the kitchen floor and they opted to leave the coins wherever they rolled (thanks so much for the gratuity). In addition, tenants have provided no assistance to electric and water bills, other than to ensure each stays so high that their landlord / father must drink heavily on a regular basis.

9.06.2015

Making Mum Proud


A couple of days into my end-of-summer vacation, I was succeeding at my goal of cutting off all communication with the outside world. It definitely helped that the internet was dodgy where I preferred to drink my morning coffee, on the balcony overlooking the beach. After a few frustrating minutes out there waiting for my web browser to load, it would stress me out so much I was forced to flip down my screen and continue devouring my beach read instead. (The Knockoff by Lucy Sykes and Jo Piazza. And yes, you will eat it up too.)

Our country could have gone to war or to Mars, or Lord help me, all the Fall boots at Nordstrom could have gone on sale, and I would not have known about it.

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