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MENTAL ILLNESS: Sexual Assault, Suicidal Ideation and Eating Disorders, oh my!
NOTE: I will not be correctly diagnosed with my primary condition until the age of 26, with numerous additional conditions following from there. Tuesday, August 1, 2000, Age 19 Did you ever think about swallowing a bottle of pills just to see what would happen? Or how about slitting your wrists, just lit-tle cuts, but…
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IT DOES NOT RESONATE ON A RICHTER SCALE?
Why I love Nietzsche ;0P “…he repudiated Christianity not because he considered it too rational but because he considered it the archenemy of reason…” “…with one fatal leap, a poor ignorant weariness that does not want to want any more; this created all gods and afterworlds. Believe me, my brothers: it was the body that…
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NIETZSCHE, MY LOVE: to remember ;0)
Of all that is written, I love only that which is written with blood. Write with blood and you will find, that blood, is spirit ;0)
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SOCIOECONOMICS ;0D
And, of course, social struggles… Monday, July 31, 2000, Age 19 Hi. I have nothing to wear tomorrow. Was it really me who thought it would be a good idea to sell most of my clothes (for a fraction of their actual cost) so that I could ‘start over’ with a new and better wardrobe?…
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SOCIOLOGICAL PROGRAMMING: making up my own mind (a.k.a. be *careful* what you WISH for ;0)
Sunday, July 30, 2000, Age 19 So much to say, so much to say! Okay, so this appearance thing is really becoming quite the irritating issue these days! I have this on-going fight going on within my conscience with one side wanting to be rail thin, but then there is the other side that just…
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C.S. LEWIS, MY LOVE: Christianity and fake “news” in American politics ;0D
THE SCREWTAPE LETTERS/Chapter 14, Circa 1942 My dear Wormwood, The most alarming thing in your last account of the patient is that he is making none of those confident resolutions which marked his original conversion. No more lavish promises of perpetual virtue, I gather; not even the expectation of an endowment of ‘grace’ for life,…
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GROWING PAINS: life in Minnesota.
Sunday, July 16, 2000, Age 19 Hoorah! Have lost seven pounds since one week ago! Am on track to making ex-boyfriend’s dwell in complete misery and they will be very sad they ever let me go. Or better yet, let me walk away. Hah! So, first day at very big bank working through temp agency…
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ELEANOR ROOSEVELT: social responsibility.
THE MORAL BASIS OF DEMOCRACY: Chapter 7/Circa 1940 The war-ridden poverty-stricken world of today seems to be struggling essentially with problems of economics and its ills seem to be primarily materialistic. Yet, I believe, that we do not begin to approach a solution of our problems until we acknowledge the fact that they are spiritual…
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GROWING UP: social struggles.
Wednesday, July 12, 2000, Age 19 Baahh! I was doing so well! I suppose I can’t write everyday though. Okay, so I love my JenJen and everything but ya know how you sometimes just get those middle school feelings of jealousy by no fault of your own? Hah….well yeah that’s it. Okay so I read…
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J.D. SALINGER, MY LOVE: words to live by ;0)
THE CATCHER IN THE RYE, Chapter 24, Circa 1945 “I don’t want to scare you,” he said, “but I can very clearly see you dying nobly, one way or another, for some highly unworthy cause.” He gave me a funny look. “If I write something down for you, will you read it carefully? And keep…
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SOCIAl STRUGGLES: words to live by ;0D
Thursday, July 6, 2000, Age 19 Okay, so I am so pissed. I don’t understand how my mean ass brother can go out and get a fucking $13.50/hour paying job here in like, one try, and this is at the temp agency that told me they couldn’t do shit for me because I had no…
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FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE, MY LOVE: the changing subjectivity of “truth” ;0)
BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL – Prelude to a Philosophy of the Future. OUR VIRTUES/Aphorism 231. Circa 1886. Learning changes us; it does what all nourishment does which also does not merely “preserve” – as physiologists know. But at the bottom of us, really “deep down,” there is, of course, something unteachable, some granite of spiritual…
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SAYING GOODBYE: losing my grip on past lives.
Tuesday, July 4, 2000, Age 19 Hey yo Happy 4th of July. Okay, so I am so proud of myself. I am going through my address book and writing letters to everyone I miss and love! I did seven tonight and like nine a couple of days ago so I’m doing pretty well. I like…
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FRIEDRICH NIETZSCHE, MY LOVE: That thou her Maid art far more fair than she.
BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL: Prelude to a Philosophy of the Future. WHAT IS NOBLE/Aphorism No. 263 CIRCA 1886 There is an instinct for rank which, more than anything else, is a sign of a high rank; there is a delight in the nuances of reverence that allows us to infer noble origin and habits. The…
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LOTS TO LEARN: Impending Doom ;0)
Monday, July 3, 2000, Age 19 Alright, so I’m scared to get my hair highlighted red. Not so much because I think it won’t look good, but more so cause I’m afraid it won’t look good on me. But I think I will because I’m only young once right?! Right! I talked to Jen last…
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MY PSYCHEDELIC SPRING: Back to the Future ;0D
Sunday, July 2, 2000, Age 19 Okay, so so much has happened since I last wrote in a journal (which was like five years ago) that I don’t even know where to begin. But anyways, isn’t this journal so cute? I had to buy it from Borders cause I love the saying in the front…
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La Vita e Bella 